She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize