I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
