Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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