Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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