when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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