did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
