ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Michael Bay diarrhea
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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