You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
