i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
