WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
people are starting to question the shark bite story
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
