somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
