We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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