Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
