I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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