i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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