Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
