If i come over, it means nothing
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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