I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
All the doctor said was why
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
