She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
two words: eviction party
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
