I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
