The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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