The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
