so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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