Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
