when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
