dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
