is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
