Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize