you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
