A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
