she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
