Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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