I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I want her autograph on my taint
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
