just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
