grandma shit on top of the toilet
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
