the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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