I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
