I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
