What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I want a musical about memes.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
