I am puke
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
