Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
