Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
