Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
