I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I wear drunk well.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
