So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
