Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
