her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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