Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
