What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
