I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
