I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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