She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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