Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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