she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I lost the right to judge tonight
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
