Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
