This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
