i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
