No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
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The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
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I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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