The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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