therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My cat gives me a boner
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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