Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
